Saving Sunday by Becky Dietz

Your husband leaves before you even hit the shower.  He heads to the church...and leaves you with all four children to get ready, yourself to get ready, two diaper bags to load, breakfast to cook so you can feed all four darlings, lunch to get into the oven, Bibles to gather, fighting clothes over four heads, finding four pairs of shoes and putting them on, seat belts to buckle, arguing children, crying babies and one mom about to lose her mind only to unload four children, carry two diaper bags into a church, yelling at three children to stay with you, distributing Bibles...all while smiling between clenched teeth at sweet old ladies in the church.  Sunday School becomes the weekly respite for you, but you end up there by yourself while your husband tends to duties in the church.  You're alone.  Again.  You move into the sanctuary between two wriggling children, trying to keep them corralled and entertained during the service...alone...because your husband is on stage...all while feeling the disapproval of those sitting closest to you.

Sound familiar?  I've been there.  Sunday ain't no picnic even for the toughest of pastor's wives.  You may never feel more alone.  It can even make you want to feign illness to stay home and avoid the whole scenario.  (I may have done that once or twice...)  You love Jesus but Sundays are just overwhelming.  You might even begin wondering how valid the whole New Testament church thing really is.

It's so easy to feel like a single mom on Sundays.  It's even easy to begin resenting your husband because he gets to waltz out that door and leave you to one of the hardest tasks on earth.

How to cope?  I hope this short list will help you meet Sundays head-on once again:

1. Pray.  I know this may sound simplistic, but so often we forget to do the most important thing.  God cares about you.  He knows it's hard.  He wants to make your church-going successful.  And if you learn anything from all this--pray for those truly single moms!
2. Check your heart.  Don't let anger take root and turn into bitterness.  Remember...your children will pick up your attitude about church and their dad.  Keep your heart pliable in God's hands.
3. Get organized.  Do as much as you possibly can on Saturday...and involve dad.  Lay out clothes and shoes.  Prepare a simple breakfast ahead of time.  Put lunch in a crockpot and have it ready to go.  Load the diaper bags.
4. Change pews.  If you feel the disapproval of those around you during a service, move to a family-friendly area.  Change as often as needed.  
5. Remember that your children are children.  This is just a short season.  I know it doesn't feel like it at times, but you're going to blink and those babies are going to be self-sufficient little people who can put their own shoes on.  
6. Please God, not people.  I had a really hard time with this.  I wanted people to like me and I wanted to be seen as a good mom.  It's such a hard line to balance being a pastor's family and "having your children under control" (I Timothy 3:4) and remembering you're responsible to God alone.  There were too many times I felt responsible to people around me.  God is so much easier to please---and He's full of grace!
7. Make time for yourself.  I found that if I took some time during the week for me, I could face Sundays with a much better attitude.  Andy & I made an agreement that he would watch the kids while I took some time for myself.  It might be grocery shopping in the evening--alone (which was a real treat for me!).  Or I often went for a Coke with friends on a Saturday night and we would laugh our heads off.  I might just take a drive out into the country alone and spend time with God and my own thoughts.  But it was "me" time.  And it helped. 
8. Don't assume.  I'm sure there were times I assumed people were judging me when they may have been sympathizing with a grimacing remembrance of their own days with small children. 
9. Allow your children some freedom.  They practically live at the church.  Give them some "ownership" of the building.  I'm not saying they need to run wild, but they need to be able to meet their dad on stage after the service, walk into a classroom alone, go ahead of you into dad's office when you know he's available.  Don't always be telling them "no."  Give them some "yes's."
10. Use those teenagers who love your children for your benefit.  Ask them to take one of your kids to his class.  Invite them to sit with you and help you with your kids during the service.  They really do love your kids.  And my kids grew up loving the teenagers of the church.   

Let's save Sunday!  Change your perspective.  Sunday may not be the day your family worships God best.  Realize it's the hardest work day of your week and make another day the time you set aside to worship God as a family.  Have a crazy music/dance night with your kids and read through The Jesus Storybook Bible together as a family.   Ask God for creative ideas.  Shake it up...change it up!  Do that...and you may just save Sunday by going to church with a whole new attitude.

**What are some ways you've saved Sunday?**