Pastors & Sin by Lindsey Dietz

I asked Lindsey to write a new blog and she said she already had this written.  She called it "heart vomit."  This is the second article in response to a pastor's adultery who lives in our area.  And while you may not live in our area, it's an issue among pastors and their families...and one we need to deal with.
Becky 

This is written in light of recent events surrounding the news-breaking story of a pastor who was caught in the act and arrested for being with a prostitute. My immediate response for him was a broken heart for him and his family. I surprised even myself by not jumping straight to a place of judgment. I put myself in his shoes and realized that what was happening to him, as well as hundreds of ministers before him, was absolutely unfair. These are my thoughts on the situation…


C (pastor) & J (pastor's wife) came into my life as my youth pastors when I was 16. (I’ll be honest—it was a little weird at first, seeing as how C is only two years older than I am; but he was quickly proved to be wiser than his age and was the right guy for the job.) C and J became pillars in my life, during a time that every teenager is trying to figure out who they are and what they believe. C wasn’t afraid to have fun with his youth kids, to stay later than necessary, to have us in his home, or to teach what the Bible says about the tough issues most teens struggle with in one form or another.

I admired and looked up to C and J. I taught their son in a pre-K Sunday school class. I went to J for advice about boyfriends and fashion. She was like the big sister I never had. C and J believed in me enough to hire me as their summer intern when I graduated high school. They poured into my friends and me with selfless love and patience.
Then I started college and got married and had a family and lost touch with C and J, but I never, ever lost my love or respect for them. And I still haven’t.

My reason for writing this is not to tell about how they impacted me, although that goes without saying. My point is not to defend C—because he messed up big time. My purpose is not to tell J that I love her and her family and my support is given freely.

My purpose in this is to ask the world a question: why are pastors (and their wives) held to a higher standard than everyone else?

You see, because of the marriage C and J lived in front of my peers and me all those long years ago, I had a deep-seated desire to marry a pastor and be in ministry with him. And I did just that. In living the life of a full-time pastor’s wife, my eyes were opened to a truth that no one tells you about going into ministry: the truth that people are always watching you and judging your life by a much higher standard that the “rest”.

In any other line of work, if a man is caught with a prostitute, he won’t likely have to resign from his job or worry about being fired. Some of his working buddies may even pat him on the back with an “Atta boy!” as they secretly wish they were in his shoes.

But a pastor?

Oh boy. You can kiss your ministry, your church, your title, your respect, and maybe even your marriage goodbye. You are judged harshly, with people throwing stones right and left, accusing you of being hypocritical or fake. You are the rubric by which the non-believing community can nod their heads and affirm that this is why they don’t believe in God or the Bible.

Thank God my husband and I have never been involved in a situation like this. Yet.

I pray we never are, that our children never have to watch us walk through hell and damnation and a scrutinizing, merciless society who can’t forgive or forget.

But my husband and my mother and my friends and you and I are capable of ANYTHING. Under the right circumstances, we can literally do ANYTHING. There is no limit to where depression and desperation can lead you in your decision-making. I’ve been depressed and desperate—and I made some awful choices during that time of my life.

Just because they weren’t illegal or broadcast on the news doesn’t mean they weren’t terrible. It just means I got to deal with my issues in private and with a little bit of dignity.

Pastors aren’t allowed to struggle with the “big sin issues”: addiction, pornography, adultery, etc. They’re the ones who are supposed to be helping their congregations with these problems, right?

So imagine how difficult we (yes, I said we, as in THE CHURCH) have made it for our pastors to ask for help if and when these sin issues do arise in their lives. And if we, the congregations they are shepherding, have made it next to impossible for them to admit a problem and seek counseling or help, the world has made it that much harder.

Politicians and pastors are the only two lines of work I can think of whose “issues” make the evening news.

They’re sinful people too. Why is their sin so stinkin’ special??

I don’t really have a major point to make. It breaks my heart that C and J and their boys are going through this. I hate that C lost this battle. I hate that J has lost trust in her husband. I hate that their boys may have lost some respect for their father.

But more than all that, I hate that bankers and restaurant managers and stock brokers and garbage truck drivers are caught and arrested for prostitution every, single day and they get to bail out of jail and either go back into that life or seek out help privately, while pastors’ faces are broadcast all over the news and in the newspapers and people get to chime in with their opinions on Facebook and everywhere else, like it actually matters.

I can guarantee you that no one would have given C a second thought if he hadn’t been a pastor.

It’s an open-ended question: WHY are things like this?

*Lindsey Dietz is a full-time mom and homeschool teacher to her two beautiful children. 

Her husband, David, recently took a position as Network Administrator at Grace Community Church & School in Tyler, TX.  Lindsey is a gifted writer and former editor of CFN Magazine, The Voice.  She loves to cook with organic foods, has studied nutrition, and has embraced natural living.  She hopes to own a farm some day and grow her own food...and maybe even write about it.