"But now since you have been set free from sin and have become the slaves of God, you have your present reward in holiness and its end is eternal life." Romans 6:22
Are you a servant...or a slave? Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference because you may be doing the very same activity as either. It's all in how it came to be and the attitude of your heart.
There are churches out there who think they "own" you as a pastor's family just because they pay your salary. They don't mind telling you what you should be doing and have expectations about what you should be involved in and think you should pay your own way in the activities they think you should do. And if you resist, they may see it as a sign of being less spiritual than you should be.
It's such a fine line. I want to be involved. But I want to do it with joy and not compulsion (which takes all of the joy out of it!). I want to pay my way...but there have been times I've had to choose between a church activity or paying for school lunches for my kids. The school lunches win every time! It's not more "spiritual" to go on a women's retreat and then not have lunch money for your kids. It's just not! And for a church to expect you to do that is wrong.
And it's not wrong to speak the truth in love. The first woman from the church who asks me why I'm not going on the retreat should be told simply and kindly, "I don't have the money in my budget to do that. I wouldn't be able to pay for my kids' lunches that week if I chose the retreat." It's honest, it's kind, and it's on the table. It really is a heart issue. Don't tell the church just to manipulate the church...but don't be afraid to be honest! It's OK for the church to see you making choices---just like they do. Money is a huge issue which can enslave you to the church. (And one I may deal with in detail later.)
If I don't feel like God is leading me to teach children's Sunday School this next year, I should tell the leaders, "I'm not going to be teaching this next year." (I need to give them plenty of notice so they can find another teacher, though.) I was told years ago that it was OK to say "No!" and that I didn't have to give an explanation. That freed me up! But it doesn't give me a license to be uninvolved. Find where you fit. Find a place you'll enjoy serving. Use your gifts for the body! Serve...but don't become a slave to other's expectations. There is a difference.
Be God's slave. He's an easy, caring taskmaster--He even carries most of the load. I love The Message's interpretation of Matthew 11:30...
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
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