We shouldn't be depressed in the ministry, should we? I mean...we have the Living God residing in us. The Living God who has all the answers! And yet we hear of more and more pastors leaving the ministry and many of them naming depression as the root cause. Today, I heard of a wonderful pastor who took his own life because of depression and I appreciate the transparency of his family to address the issue he was facing head-on. Phil Lineberger talks about the whole issue he faced in a friend's eulogy (before taking his own life) better than I can. I hope you'll take the time to read it here.
Why would a pastor become depressed? I can think of one word. Conflict. The conflict of leadership and opposing vision. The conflict of follow-ship...is my church following me, my teaching, my vision? Are we all following God? The conflict of counseling others and trying to help them get to a spiritually healthy place. The conflict of finances, demands, staff goals and relationships, hearing God, dispersion of time vs. needs, sermons and leadership being critiqued. The conflict of feeling like you should have all the answers and you don't and feeling lost...and afraid to get help. Afraid it's going to hurt the cause of Christ. These are just to name a few.
Of course, there's also the possibility of chemical imbalance, physical illness, or medications which lead to depression. And the best place to start when you're depressed is with your physician. These causes need to be ruled out before you start seeking answers elsewhere.
How can we help as wives? Be aware. If you see signs of depression in your husband, talk about it with him. I can't encourage you enough to both have friends outside of your church whom you can talk to openly. Every minister needs a minister...someone who can encourage you, give you perspective, pray with you and for you. My "coach" told me this week that people should be drinking from our saucer, not our cup. We should be in a place of purpose and destiny which fills us up to full and overflowing. When we overflow, people can drink from our saucer. If they're drinking from our cup, we'll become empty. And when we become empty, we become depressed. So look for the signs of emptiness and depression in your husband--and in yourself. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You're not going to hurt the name of Christ by getting help. He's bigger than that.
We don't have to have all the answers and sometimes, in the ministry, we feel like we should. We shoulder and carry burdens not intended for us. I've learned some of the best lessons from pastors and their wives who were willing to be totally transparent and honest with their "weaknesses"--and then watching them deal with those areas in truth, honesty, openness, and love.
Father, please help us. We're living in difficult days--hard to deal with and hard to bear. Undergird Your ministers with Your everlasting arms. Breathe new life into them. HELP, God!! Bring the help we all need. Empower us by the Holy Spirit. Be our counselor, helper, teacher, comforter, and guide. Father, if anyone reading this is depressed or if their husband is depressed, please direct them to the very best help. Open their hearts to admitting they need help and bind fear from them. Protect us, God. In Jesus' name, amen.
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