Be Yourself by Becky Dietz

Pastor's wife, the biggest piece of advice I can offer you as a pastor's wife is to be yourself.  God created you uniquely for His own purposes and you can only fulfill that purpose by being who He created you to be.  It's so easy as a pastor's wife to get caught up in pretense because of people's expectations of you.  It's easy to slip into a super-spiritual mode because everyone thinks you should be.  Or to be the women's ministry queen because it's thrust upon you.  But the greatest gift you can give your church is to just be YOU.  Now that doesn't mean you won't be stretched or be forced to do some ministries which are not your calling--because God sees to it that you're stretched and He's  called you to serve.  But purpose in your heart that there won't be any pretense.

If you're in a mega church, it may be that you just feel like you get lost.  There's a pastor for every ministry and you can't figure out how to plug in...much less, how to make friends.  If you're in a very small church, you may feel overworked because it takes everyone to make every ministry work.  And if you're in a middle-sized church, they may be watching you a little more closely to see if you're going to be the outgoing wife they can put on their pedestal. Interestingly, we've been in all three sizes.

God blessed me with some great friends in each of our churches.  I gravitated towards people who allowed me to be myself and with whom I could be totally honest.  But as I talked to a dear friend last night, she told me, "That's a two-way street."  We, as pastor's wives, have to be willing to allow others to be themselves with no judgment.  It's a give-and-take.  If we want to be ourselves, we have to allow others to be themselves.  We have to receive one another just like God created us.  That's not to say that we can all just happily live in the flesh at all times.  But realistically, we're all going to make mistakes.  We're going to hurt one another.  It's allowing for those mistakes while encouraging one another to walk closer to God.

We can't be a pastor's wife with real, honest, open relationships if we're pretending to be someone we're not and remaining aloof.  We've got to be willing to be real.  I'm actually a bit of a rebel when it comes to this--in a good way, I hope.  I refuse to be put in a mold.  Churches of any size have expectations when it comes to their pastor's wife.  I quickly try to let my new church know that I'm probably not going to fit in their mold.  I get my hands dirty, I laugh loudly, I love deeply.  But I also hate planning showers, planning pretty women's functions, or organizing VBS.  I may do it, but it's not my thing and people will quickly find out I drag my feet a bit when I'm doing something I don't enjoy.   But I also don't expect them to do more than their share or to do things they don't enjoy consistently.  I wear pants, jeans, shorts, and capris much more often than I wear dresses or skirts.    As Andy & I made a hospital visit this week after a funeral (and I was dressed up more than usual), I said, "I probably should dress like this more often when we make hospital visits."  We laughed...because we both knew I probably wouldn't.  I proved us to be correct the next day when we made another hospital visit.  But just because I don't like to dress up or plan VBS doesn't mean you don't!  But that's just it...be true to who you are!

Take time to evaluate where you are.  Are you doing things you hate doing?  Why are you doing it?  Is it to share a load that needs to be shared....or are you trying to gain people's favor?  Do you get your hands dirty?  If not, are you trying to perpetuate the model of a pastor's wife on a pedestal?  In everything you do, who are you trying to please?  God...or man?  If it's not God, you need to stop and allow Him to adjust things.  Don't be afraid to change your course or yourself.
Purpose to be real.  
Being real doesn't mean you have to be harsh.  Being real is saying, "I'm here to fulfill the purpose for which God has called me.  I want to please Him with all of my heart.  Let's do this thing called 'church' together!"

Tilling the Soil by Becky Dietz

“And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.”  Genesis 1:12

God created every form of vegetation with the potential for fruit in the Garden of Eden…but He waited until He had a “manager” to put over the garden before it brought forth fruit.  His original intent was for man and woman to discover treasures and create beauty as they tilled the magnificent garden He’d created.  Genesis goes on to tell us there were hidden riches in the rivers which went out of Eden waiting to be uncovered and discovered.  The work was going to be edifying, fulfilling, and amazing.

But Eve sinned and enticed Adam to sin.  And because of their bad choices, God put a curse on the soil.  They would no longer be tillers, they would be toilers.  To “till” holds the promise of breaking up soil and preparing fertile ground for seed which would become a full harvest leading to health and sustenance.  To “toil” designates hard effort, pain, and labor.

But the amazing thing about God is that He didn’t leave man in his fallen state.  He sent His own Son to die on the cross to take our punishment and make a way for restored fellowship with Himself.  And when He did that, He broke every curse and redeemed mankind to His original intent.  When we make Jesus Lord of our lives, everything changes—we become a new creation in Christ.  It’s as if God takes us back to the Garden of Eden and His first plan and says, “It’s all yours!”  God desires for us to till.  He’d like nothing better than for us to discover treasures and create beauty.  He has filled us with purpose and wants us to use the gifts He’s given us to invest in the kingdom of God.  He’s put us as managers over His creation… just like he did Adam.  And we have the privilege of tilling once again.  

A Grab Bag!

LADIES!  I've had so many miscellaneous items donated for you that I decided to put a collection together to give away.  Who doesn't need some gifts in a closet just for giving friends for birthdays or Christmas?  Or you may want these just for yourself!  You'll find books, cups, lotions, jewelry, a scarf, etc. in this grab bag.  (Some gifts not pictured.)  All you have to do is go to our Facebook page and under the "Grab Bag" post, tell me what you did for the 4th of July to be eligible to win this prize package!!   

Here's to good friends!!

A Safe Place

I want to remind you that this blog is a safe place.  Pastor's wives have such few places where they can share anything they want and KNOW it won't be shared with anyone else.  That's why I made this a private blog!  I want you to feel confident knowing you can respond to any article knowing your heart will be guarded here.  That's why this blog is for pastor's wives or staff wives alone.  We need a safe place to share with one another---a place where we know no one will take what is said here outside of this group--even what is shared in a blog.

I hope you feel comfortable in that.  I hope you know I will guard your heart.  My own heart is burdened for pastor's wives--knowing some of them are drowning in hopelessness or feeling very alone.

YOU, my friend, are on my heart a lot.  As I "get to know" some of you through Facebook (as you answer questions to win prizes),  I just wish I could invite you over for a cup of coffee for a chance to talk one-on-one.  I want you to know I deeply care about what you are walking through.  It's not enough for us to put on our happy face and go to church and sit on the front pew...I want you to know someone cares about what is going on in your hearts and minds.

I may not have all the answers, but I do know how to listen, pray, and share what God has taught me.  Here's my private email address in case you ever need someone to talk to and you need an even safer, more private place to talk.  dietzbecky@hotmail.com  
Don't hesitate to email me.  I'm here to help.

I'm praying for you tonight.
Becky

The Invisible Woman

Build well, my friends...even when no one sees.

Police Officer Blesses Pastor's Wives

Kristi is a police officer in Texas who wanted to bless some pastor's wives, so she created and gave away a coffee mug and cup who went to Karen Metzger and Jennifer Davis, respectively.  When Kristi's dad was only about 45-years-old, he had a massive heart attack and Kristi kept him alive until police officers arrived and saved his life.  Because of that one act, Kristi chose to go into law enforcement and puts her life on the line every day in a large Texas city.  Kristi has a big heart and I think that's pretty obvious.  I just wanted you to know someone who honors you.

Cup Give-Away!

These two cups were created by Kristi who wanted some pastor's wives to know that they are LOVED!!  Comment below or go to our Facebook page and tell us your favorite summer drink to be eligible to win.  Do it by Sunday---that's our announcement day!