Pastoring a Small Church by Becky Dietz

My husband is the pastor of First Baptist Church, Groom, TX.  Groom's population is around 600 and our sweet church has around 100 members.  We never dreamed we'd be in a church this size.  We started out in a medium-sized church and went to a mega church and then back to a medium-sized church where we stayed for 26 years.  And we've learned so much along the way.

We were members of our first church before Andy went on staff as a youth minister there, so when we left, it was a very emotional experience because it was like leaving family.  A family to whom we were very attached. When we went to the mega church, they probably had 300 youth...and it grew to around 600.  Andy didn't have a youth intern, so it was a big undertaking.  This is where we began to learn how to organize ministry...because we had to.  It was a little overwhelming at times.  And it was certainly hard to know everyone because we had so many services and a divided Sunday School.  It was almost a relief to go to a smaller church from there...an average-sized church.  Add to that, it was the church where Andy grew up, so we were home.  We loved our ministry there.  We grew spiritually.  God taught us so much and our friendships were deep.  And Andy impacted a lot of students...and a lot of adults.  Our own kids grew up in this church.

So we never dreamed we'd end up in a small church.  But I'm so glad we did!  Having experienced a church of every size, I have to wonder why pastors feel the desire to "move up."  Most pastors start out in a small church but aspire to go to a bigger...and then a bigger church.  I think they see it as success.  (I also think it's Satan's diabolical plot to make us feel discontented, disqualified, and disheartened.  He's such a liar!)  But after 36 years of ministering in a church of every size, if I had to choose a church size, I'd choose a small church.

Here's why I love a small church:

1. You get to really know the people.  Everyone.  
2. You know the state of your flock all the time.  
3. Every little step forward is huge in a small church.
4. Ministry is simpler.  
5. People love one another well.  Lots of people in small towns are related, so they know how to overlook faults.
6. People in small towns are hard workers.  
7. Small churches operate by volunteers.  And there are lots of them.  It takes everyone to make a small church run properly.
8. People minister to one another well.
9. When one person is discipled in a small church, it makes a huge difference!  Their excitement is contagious.
10. It's easy to impact an entire community.

If you're "stuck" pastoring a small church, be encouraged!!  God isn't concerned about the size of your church; He's looking at your heart.  Are you content?  Are you being faithful with what you have?  Are you looking for Him to work in your situation?  Are you expecting God to do big things where you are?  

The grass may appear greener in a bigger church, but that just means there's more mowing to do.  

Who are you?? by Sandra Langford

Well according to Ephesians 1 & 2...

1. I am an ambassador of Christ Jesus. I am a saint – consecrated and set apart.

2. I am faithful, loyal and steadfast in Christ Jesus.

3. The grace (God’s unmerited favor) and spiritual peace (harmony, unity, undisturbedness) of God are mine from God my Father and Jesus Christ.

4. I am a daughter of God and therefore, a sister to Jesus Christ.

5. I am blessed in Christ with every spiritual blessing among the heavenly realm by Holy Spirit.

6. I am loved by God.

7. I am chosen: picked out by God as His own. Even before He laid out His plans for this world He had me in mind.

8. I am holy – set apart for Him.

9. I am blameless in His sight.

10. I am above reproach before Him in love.

11. I am predestined, planned in love, predetermined, He knew me before I was made.

12. I am adopted, planned in love.

13. I belong to God because of Jesus Christ, my big brother.

14. God is my Father.

15. God took pleasure in planning me. He delighted in adopting me.

16. I am His pleasure.

17. His intent for me is good.

18. My Father is worthy of praise. He is my glory! (Proverbs 17:6)

19. My Father is merciful and marvelous, freely giving me gifts in the Beloved.

20. I am delivered, set free, redeemed.

21. I am forgiven by the riches of His grace.

22. He has abundantly lavished that on me in wisdom and understanding, in accordance with the riches, bounty and generosity of His gracious favor, goodwill and lovingkindness.

23. God tells me secret plans, the mystery of His will, plans He took delight in making, long range plans to unite all things in Him.

24. I am God’s own possession, He claimed me!

25. I am God’s heir.

26. God is working His purpose in me.

27. I have hope in Christ.

28. I am made to live to bring Him glory and praise.

29. I am stamped, marked with the seal of the Holy Spirit for security and a guarantee of my inheritance.

30. I can have a spirit of wisdom and revelation (insight into mysteries and secrets) to be able to truly know Him personally and intimately.

31. I am called, invited.

32. His power is in me and for me. It is immeasurable, unlimited and beyond anything: the same power that raised Christ from the dead and placed Him at God’s right hand is in me.

33. I am in subjection to, under, and expected to yield to Christ who has all authority and power.

34. I am a part of the church, His body, the fullness of Him filled with the presence, power and riches of God and of Christ.

35. He who causes to abound, supplies liberally.

36. In me lives the full measure of Him Who makes everything complete and Who fills all in all.

37. I am made alive together with Christ.

38. I was dead in my sin, BUT GOD because of His rich mercy and wonderful and intense love focused on me has made me alive in fellowship and in union with Christ. (I am united with the Anointed one!) He infused my lifeless soul with life.

39. By His grace I am saved, delivered from judgement and made a partaker of Christ’s salvation.

40. I am raised up with Christ to sit with him in heavenly places.

41. God will show me the immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness toward me in Christ Jesus.

42. I am saved, kept safe, rescued, by grace (joy, delight, loving kindness, favor) through faith (conviction of truth, belief). It is a gift from God, not by my doing!

43. I am God’s workmanship (work of art, masterpiece, His poem) created by Him in Christ for good works God prepared beforehand for me to do.

44. My works are not the means of my salvation; they are the evidence of its presence.

45. I was a stranger, an outsider, separated, had no connection with Christ (the Anointed One), had no rights and no share in the compacts of the promises, no hope – BUT God gathered me and brought me near to Him by the royal blood of Christ, my Liberating King.

46. I have access to the Father, and can freely approach Him.

47. I am a citizen with God’s people. I am consecrated and set apart for Him.

48. I am a member of God’s holy family and a resident – I belong to His household.

49. I am being built on a solid foundation with Christ Jesus Himself as the chief cornerstone.

50. I am being joined together with other believers (Jews and Gentiles) harmoniously, stone, by stone – chosen and sealed in Him, rising up (growing, increasing) to become a holy temple in the Lord. (1Peter 2:5 I am a living stone built into a spiritual house for a holy priesthood)

So You're a Pastor's Wife Retreat!

Pastor's Wives...I have one more prize to give away to celebrate you and all you do.  This July, I'm having my first-ever So You're a Pastor's Wife Retreat at this beautiful lodge in Rogers, Arkansas.  I'm offering spots to two friends who also happen to be pastor's wives.  You'll be *reimbursed at the end of the week for mileage (driving up to 7 hours away--anything over that will not be reimbursed), three evening meals at restaurants, and entertainment (movies, golf, bowling...).  You will share a beautiful private room and bathroom (and a queen-sized bed) with your friend.

The week will include some practical helps and encouragement just for pastor's wives.  There will only be 6 other pastor's wives at this intimate retreat.  We will discover who God says you are and the purpose for which He has created you.  There will be times of worship and teaching.  There will be a question and answer time and even one-on-one counseling available.  I can guarantee there will be lots of laughter!

It's going to be a great week!  It's July 11-15, 2016.  We'll meet on Monday at 4:00 PM and leave Friday after breakfast.  To be eligible to win this fantastic, relaxing, helpful week, the two of you must message me together on So You're a Pastor's Wife Facebook page and both answer this question.  (Please know for certain that you both can be there on these dates before you message me.)

• What is your greatest need as a pastor's wife?

*You'll be responsible for all of your expenses until reimbursement at the end of the week.  You will both have to submit proof you are a pastor's wife.  More info will come if you win!  You must message me on Facebook no later than April 15.  Winners will be announced April 22!

Shop & Eat

WOOHOO!!!  Girls!  You can win two gift cards--one to shop at J.C. Penney's and the other to take yourself, your hubby, your BFF, or someone out to eat with you!  All you have to do is tell us in a message below at which church you and your husband serve--or tell us on our Facebook page.

You MUST be a pastor's wife to win!!

Winner will be announced Saturday night---so we have time to squeeze in one more drawing to celebrate the month of YOU!!

HAPPY PASTOR'S WIVES APPRECIATION MONTH!

CONTEST WINNER!

Karen Babcock Metzger is the winner of this:

Karen, just message me your mailing address and I'll get these in the mail to you!

LADIES!  STAY TUNED FOR MORE GIVEAWAYS!!!

Not a Pastor's Wife...Yet. by Sandra Langford

When Becky asked me to write for “So You’re a Pastor’s Wife” blog, my immediate thought was “no way”!   I am NOT a pastor’s wife…. yet.  What could I possibly say to ladies who have already walked this journey probably at a much younger age than I am walking it now.  Not to mention, what if my husband, Mark, doesn’t even become a minister, isn’t it a little presumptuous?   Maybe, just maybe, it would be a little (or HUGELY) embarrassing if he chooses a different path and I’ve sent this out for the world to see.  Then it hit me.  My doubts about writing a blog pretty much mirror what I’ve felt about this voyage we are on.  Fear, pride, and doubts swirl through my mind at an alarming rate sometimes!   (My daughter, HE says,” take every thought captive…”)

I’m not even sure exactly how it all came about.  Mark has talked about a dream of his for some time now.  He wanted to set up a shop, hire young men who are searching for purpose, teach them a trade and use that business as a way to minister.  It all sounded so grandiose and, in my mind, improbable.  It was easy to encourage that dream and support him when that’s all it was, a dream.   Then one day he came home from work to tell me he had lost his job.   I remember telling him, “I really think God is going to take us in a totally different direction than where we have been.”  What I thought that meant was “I don’t think you’re going to be working in a job that is tied into the oilfield anymore” what HE heard was “God is taking us out of the secular job market and into the ministry”.  My head is still spinning.  (“Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted.…”)

What is it like to hear your husband say that he is being called into ministry when you are 51 years old?  Bizarre.  Ha!  It is probably very much the same as it feels when you are 19 or any other age.  Honestly there have been times when I’ve wanted to stomp my foot like a 3-year-old and say, “It’s not fair!”  Other wives knew they were possibly stepping into being a minister’s wife BEFORE they married their husband – and that would be easier, RIGHT?…. RIGHT?!?  Mark had surrendered to special services during college before I knew him.  I didn’t know that when we married.  Doubts have stormed my mind at times.   (Trust ME with ALL of your heart, don’t lean on your own understanding, I will direct your path….)  I’ve witnessed from a safe distance how hard being a pastor’s wife can be.  The expectations on you and your family, the pressures, the criticizing, the sacrifices all seem pretty overwhelming.  I could go on and on with the doubts, fears and uncertainty.  Then God began to tenderly remind me of a few things:

I’ve resented the expectations that are sometimes put on pastor’s wives, so why in the world would I suddenly put those same expectations on myself? (remember, Sandra, “I will supply ALL of your needs according to My riches…”).   I can face whatever comes our way simply because God is my source!  I’ll make mistakes, certainly, but I can come back from those mistakes having learned a valuable lesson and having depended on God. 

A few years ago I took up a challenge to support my husband in his dreams no matter the cost.  I have a niece who beautifully demonstrated this to me by lovingly following her husband to Florida for a time.  If Mark’s dream took us across country or to the other side of the world, I determined to support him.  After all, isn’t it God who orders our steps?  ("The lot is cast into the lap, but the decision is wholly Mine [even the events that seem accidental are really ordered by ME).  I really don’t want to be a discouragement to my husband or stop him from stepping out in obedience to God.  God has gently put several people into our lives at this time to encourage us and confirm what God is doing. 

A few months ago I attended a conference.  During that conference I received results on a personality test called the DISC test.  I discovered that part of my personality is a “C” (conscientiousness).  A couple of the negative traits of a “C” is that we over-think things (we need DETAILS) and we don’t like change.  Yep.  That’s me. I hate change. Do you know who else that is?  Moses.  Yes, Moses, the guy who heard God’s numerous, detailed plans to set the Israelites free and then told God, “Oh, my Lord, please send someone else!”  But God knew He needed a man interested in details to deal with the challenges ahead.  Someone who could write down the 10 commandments word for word without improvising, someone who could organize a huge crowd of people to march across the land.  I have a choice.  I can live in the negative aspects of my personality traits and cry “Not me, Lord, choose someone else!!” (tempting as that is…) or I can soar with the positive traits.  You see, I’m also a “S” (Steadfastness).  An example of an “S” is Abraham.  The man who willingly left his land and family to follow God into the unknown.  I need to learn to use my “C” personality traits when organizing and working, and use my “S” traits when I’m called to face changes and follow God into the unknown.  I’m learning.

God has been so gracious to me in this struggle.  He’s shown me things about myself that He really loves, goodness given by Him, to help me see that I am able to follow Him wherever He leads. He has reminded me that the position of being a pastor’s wife has some really positive aspects.  I need to follow the advice I’ve given my Jr. High Sunday School class; I need to focus on the good and on God, not the problems! (“Oh, taste and see that I am GOOD!”)  He has given me dreams of loving on and encouraging people, helping them see their own greatness.  He has given me a voice to declare His goodness.

Moses had a staff that He willingly laid before God for the Lord’s use.  He laid down his profession as a shepherd of lambs to become the shepherd of God’s sheep, the nation of Israel.   I don’t want to anger God in my response (as Moses did) instead I’m determining to be God’s “Yes!” woman.  I want to display trust as Moses eventually did, I want to be able to say “here’s my staff, use it as You will!”  Will this journey end up with me being a minister’s wife?  I have no idea but it is quite likely.     Thankfully, God is beginning to enable me to say “Yes, Lord, your servant is listening”.  (“Wait upon Me, be of good courage, wait….”)

Sandra Langford is the wife of Mark Langford.  They have 5 children and 1 new addition, a daughter-in-law.  They live in Pampa, TX and are currently in transition...obviously.  Sandra loves to create, sew, read, and work with the youth in her church.  She is using her voice to make a change in the world.  

Pastor's Wives Appreciation Month!

It's Pastor's Wives Appreciation Month!  And we're celebrating by going PUBLIC!  To date, this blog has been a private blog, but we wanted to open it up to ALL pastor's wives.  You can also sign up to the right to receive new blog posts by email.  And we want to give something away...because we love you!

Either leave a message below that you've shared our newly public blog OR like and share our Facebook post to be eligible for this:

A night of fun on us!
We'll be drawing Sunday night (after church, of course!)

MORE FUN COMING...