Book Review by Becky Dietz

I love to read!   So...often I will post books on this blog which have meant a lot in my life.  They may have come at a time when I needed them most or when I was ready to hear their message.  But if I remember a book or an author, that means they're a big deal to me.  

The first book I want to review is Classic Christianity by Bob George.  If you're a Kindle reader, you can download it here on Amazon.  If you like to hold a hard copy, you can also get it on Amazon or if you want a bargain, go here to Half.com.  (I've bought from this website for years!)

I bought Classic Christianity from Major Ian Thomas' book table when he came to our church in Borger, TX.  At the time, I was working through some emotional healing and had started my journey in asking God for truth in everything I did.  This book was like a dynamite explosion in my hands at that moment in my life.  The truth that Bob George teaches in this book has served me well for about 15 years.  I believe the message in it is timeless.

Bob George says his book is for bogged down, burned out Christians.  If you're doing all the right things and still feel weary, this book is for you.  He began his own Christian walk excited and in love with Jesus only to end up a few years later (after getting involved in Christian work) burned out and used up.  Bob cuts to the heart of the issues which cause so many believers to start out in a radical way only to end up going through the motions.  Bob shows you the way back to life--through Truth and the power of the Holy Spirit.

If this describes where you are, I hope you'll give this book a chance!

*What books have changed your Christian walk?

Saving Sunday by Becky Dietz

Your husband leaves before you even hit the shower.  He heads to the church...and leaves you with all four children to get ready, yourself to get ready, two diaper bags to load, breakfast to cook so you can feed all four darlings, lunch to get into the oven, Bibles to gather, fighting clothes over four heads, finding four pairs of shoes and putting them on, seat belts to buckle, arguing children, crying babies and one mom about to lose her mind only to unload four children, carry two diaper bags into a church, yelling at three children to stay with you, distributing Bibles...all while smiling between clenched teeth at sweet old ladies in the church.  Sunday School becomes the weekly respite for you, but you end up there by yourself while your husband tends to duties in the church.  You're alone.  Again.  You move into the sanctuary between two wriggling children, trying to keep them corralled and entertained during the service...alone...because your husband is on stage...all while feeling the disapproval of those sitting closest to you.

Sound familiar?  I've been there.  Sunday ain't no picnic even for the toughest of pastor's wives.  You may never feel more alone.  It can even make you want to feign illness to stay home and avoid the whole scenario.  (I may have done that once or twice...)  You love Jesus but Sundays are just overwhelming.  You might even begin wondering how valid the whole New Testament church thing really is.

It's so easy to feel like a single mom on Sundays.  It's even easy to begin resenting your husband because he gets to waltz out that door and leave you to one of the hardest tasks on earth.

How to cope?  I hope this short list will help you meet Sundays head-on once again:

1. Pray.  I know this may sound simplistic, but so often we forget to do the most important thing.  God cares about you.  He knows it's hard.  He wants to make your church-going successful.  And if you learn anything from all this--pray for those truly single moms!
2. Check your heart.  Don't let anger take root and turn into bitterness.  Remember...your children will pick up your attitude about church and their dad.  Keep your heart pliable in God's hands.
3. Get organized.  Do as much as you possibly can on Saturday...and involve dad.  Lay out clothes and shoes.  Prepare a simple breakfast ahead of time.  Put lunch in a crockpot and have it ready to go.  Load the diaper bags.
4. Change pews.  If you feel the disapproval of those around you during a service, move to a family-friendly area.  Change as often as needed.  
5. Remember that your children are children.  This is just a short season.  I know it doesn't feel like it at times, but you're going to blink and those babies are going to be self-sufficient little people who can put their own shoes on.  
6. Please God, not people.  I had a really hard time with this.  I wanted people to like me and I wanted to be seen as a good mom.  It's such a hard line to balance being a pastor's family and "having your children under control" (I Timothy 3:4) and remembering you're responsible to God alone.  There were too many times I felt responsible to people around me.  God is so much easier to please---and He's full of grace!
7. Make time for yourself.  I found that if I took some time during the week for me, I could face Sundays with a much better attitude.  Andy & I made an agreement that he would watch the kids while I took some time for myself.  It might be grocery shopping in the evening--alone (which was a real treat for me!).  Or I often went for a Coke with friends on a Saturday night and we would laugh our heads off.  I might just take a drive out into the country alone and spend time with God and my own thoughts.  But it was "me" time.  And it helped. 
8. Don't assume.  I'm sure there were times I assumed people were judging me when they may have been sympathizing with a grimacing remembrance of their own days with small children. 
9. Allow your children some freedom.  They practically live at the church.  Give them some "ownership" of the building.  I'm not saying they need to run wild, but they need to be able to meet their dad on stage after the service, walk into a classroom alone, go ahead of you into dad's office when you know he's available.  Don't always be telling them "no."  Give them some "yes's."
10. Use those teenagers who love your children for your benefit.  Ask them to take one of your kids to his class.  Invite them to sit with you and help you with your kids during the service.  They really do love your kids.  And my kids grew up loving the teenagers of the church.   

Let's save Sunday!  Change your perspective.  Sunday may not be the day your family worships God best.  Realize it's the hardest work day of your week and make another day the time you set aside to worship God as a family.  Have a crazy music/dance night with your kids and read through The Jesus Storybook Bible together as a family.   Ask God for creative ideas.  Shake it up...change it up!  Do that...and you may just save Sunday by going to church with a whole new attitude.

**What are some ways you've saved Sunday?**

A Church's Gift & Personality by Becky Dietz

Andy & I have discovered that each church has it's own gift and personality.  We've served in churches which have had the gifts of administration, teaching, giving, and serving.  It's so helpful to identify your church's gift to eliminate expectations and frustrations...or at least some of them.  Once we understood why the church with the gift of administration was so O.C.D., it made it easier to live with.  Well...at least a little easier to understand!  Ok...I'll just have to be honest and admit that was a hard church to serve.  It was full of corporate-types who loved to control things--it was as if that body of believers just drew them in.  The church with the gift of teaching had a series of senior pastors who were great expository teachers.  Those pastors had invested in the men of the church and developed many of them who were deep Bible teachers and could fill the pulpit any time on short notice.  Giving was so much easier to recognize in our third church---those people knew how to give!  We were so blessed with people giving to us as a family, helping with mission trips we took, and reaching deep into pockets when presented with a need.  The church we serve in today has the gift of serving.  It's a small church and when we got here it was hard to understand how it was organized--or if it was organized.  But then it happened.  Event after event, people would just show up exactly on time, pitch in, and get the job done--quickly and completely.  In fact, my head was spinning the first few times it happened!  Of course, within each church, you'll find people with all of the gifts.  But it's so interesting that we've found there to be an overriding gift which governs each church.

I once went to a ladies' conference in a charismatic church and as I enjoyed the enthusiastic worship, it hit me!  I believe each denomination can also be described by a temperament or personality.  I'm old-school with personalities, so I'll characterize them as I know them:

Choleric--dominant, leader, loves organization
Sanguine--outgoing, happy, sociable
Melancholy--analytical, holds things close to the chest, artistic
Phlegmatic--laid back, peaceful, not easily upset, excited or angered

I began to laugh as I realized I could pretty easily put denominations in these categories.  It wouldn't be fair to say each church of every denomination would fit in these slots exactly, but see if you think I'm close.

Choleric--Baptists, Methodists
Sanguine--Charismatics, New Church Plants
Melancholy--Lutheran, Episcopal, Anglican
Phlegmatic--Bible Churches, Non-Denominational

It's so important to understand and know those we serve.  If we go to a church and have no discernment of who that church is, we may be in a constant tug-of-war, demanding the other side conform to us.  At least if we go in with a little more awareness, we have a better chance of working together in peace and harmony.

I'd love to know if you can identify the gift and personality of the church you're in...or if you already knew!

*Becky Dietz is the wife of Andy Dietz, pastor of First Baptist Church in Groom, TX.  Andy has also served as Youth Pastor and Missions & Evangelism Pastor in other churches.  Becky's love is teaching women and has been the guest speaker at women's conferences and retreats.

WELCOME!!

I'm so excited to begin something new...thank you for joining me!  I've already been hard at work lining up some encouragement for all of us.  As I sat and wrote down names of pastor's wives I knew whom I could ask to contribute to this blog, I had two full sheets of names.  You've hit the mother lode of possibilities for encouragement!  There are so many women around me who have sailed the seas of ministry successfully whose lights are shining.  I believe they will be a lighthouse so your own adventure is successful.

You may have married a minister...or you may be like me and your husband didn't join the staff of a church until you'd been married several years.  It can be overwhelming to meet new challenges for which you weren't even prepared.  I've never been to a pastor's wives school.  Heck!  My husband didn't even go to seminary!  But I was mentored by some very capable pastor's wives.  And I want to pass it on.

Do I have all the answers?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!   But I have learned a few things along the way and God continues to teach me daily.  But you won't just be hearing from me.  I'm only one kind of pastor's wife.  I want you to hear from a beautiful mix of women--different denominations, different cultures, races, temperaments and giftings--whose husbands have different positions in the church.  I want you to hear from pastor's kids who've survived being a pastor's kid.  I want you to hear from women who are on the staff of a church.  And I want to hear from YOU!  So be sure and leave comments.   I want to know what your needs are so they are addressed.

Again...WELCOME!!  

I believe God wants to bless you beyond your wildest imaginations!!

"Therefore encourage (admonish, exhort) one another and edify 

(strengthen and build up) one another, just as you are doing."

I Thessalonians 5:11

For Pastor's Wives

This blog was born out of a burden for the pastor's wives who are struggling, discouraged or just need someone to talk to.  I decided to start a private blog where we can share with one another and hopefully help and encourage one another.  Because it's a private blog, you will have to send me the google or blogger email addresses of your friends who are pastor's wives who want to be admitted to the blog.  I will be posting lots of encouragement but we'll also have guest posts.  And we'll all help one another as we reply to the posts.

So You're a Pastor's Wife?  God bless you!!  

He is crazy about you!