My husband and I have been in ministry for just over 20 years. We have been on staff in established churches as well as on staff at an interdenominational youth ministry. In a lot of ways, you could say we have seen it all – the great, the ugly, the good, the bad – and everything in between. This summer, however, we started down a brand new path, a new ministry journey…. church planting!
I could write a whole separate blog post on the emotions and challenges and joys this journey has brought so far, and probably will, but I just HAD to share about this book with all you beautiful pastor’s wives because honestly….in 20 years of ministry no single book has hit home for me as a minister’s wife than this book. Now, before you scroll on and say “We aren’t church planting, this isn’t for me” bear with me because it IS for you! So many of the things Christine writes about I found myself thinking “Why didn’t I hear this when I was brand new in ministry?” It’s just that good!
I have been eyeing this book for about a year, since Joel and I first started talking about the possibility of church planting but like a lot of things – I talked myself out of it. I guess that really; it was the Lord holding me off because in our very first care package from the North American Mission Board – there was a copy of the book as a gift to me! Yep – Go God!
Anyway – let me just highlight for you a few things that really stood out to me and hit home. Seriously my book is like underlined and ear tagged and highlighted to the hilt but I’m just going to hit some high points enough to wet your appetite – wouldn’t want to spoil it for you!
The first thing that is so amazing about it is that she approaches it from the angle of your heart as a minister’s wife and centers it all around that. Not how to handle various situations or things that may come your way but more how to prepare and nurture your heart so that you are able to deal with those things that are thrown your way. It’s also all about trusting the Lord with your heart and letting Him keep it safe!
“If we are cultivating a joyful, obedient heart and submitting to the Spirit, good works and good fruit will sprout from our heart’s tender soil. But if we do not deal with resentment, bitterness, or rebelliousness, we will spew ugliness all over our husbands, children, and churches and hinder the work of the Spirit in and through us.” Christine Hoover Church Planting Wife
That quote right there hit me between the eyes as hard as that stone must have hit Goliath! Is my heart JOYFUL? Is it OBEDIENT? SUBMISSIVE to the Spirit? I had to really pause right there and decide what the condition of my heart really was and to be honest; I had to ask the Holy Spirit to come in and perform open heart surgery. I believe this is so crucial to ALL minister’s wives no matter where we are serving.
The second thing that really struck me was what she referred to as “the church planting wife’s job description” I have never had a problem doing ministry alongside Joel. I knew before I married him what he was called to do and I willingly shared that calling from the Lord. In each and every ministry we have served at – my “job” or “role” was made clear early on. Sometimes it was mentoring teen girls, sometimes one on one discipleship with women, sometimes children’s ministry, sometimes bookkeeping, sometimes preschool ministry – but I always knew my place, my job…. Until church planting…. We don’t have a regular worship time yet, we don’t have children to plan for yet, we don’t have teens to work with yet, we don’t have women to disciple yet, our bookkeeping is done by a sending church, etc. So, I found myself floundering just a tad.
Christine points out a truth in her book that again applies to us all as minister’s wives. It was something that I have known on a certain level, and even have done for the most part, but never really considered how important it is…. serve your family. In her book she shares that as a wife, I am the ONLY one who can truly minister to and serve my husband and as a mom I have a unique role to serve and minister to my children. No other person in the church can lift up, pray for, encourage, support, cheer on Joel like I can and that role is VITAL! Our men – they get down, they get discouraged, they get weary, and they need someone to regularly day in and day out pour into them! Of course there is ministry within the church that we are called to do and we need to prayerfully seek what that is but serving our families must be our number one ministry.
The third and final part of this book that I am going to share with you is about friendships. For me, this has ALWAYS been a hard thing for me in ministry and I know many of you reading this can resonate with this because you have shared that with me. Here’s the deal; being honest and exposing the raw truth to you friends – I have always waited and expected that friends would come to me. Yep, there you have it – I thought that as a minister’s wife true, life sharing friends would just show up and knock on my door, we would see eye to eye and that would be that. It hasn’t happened that way very often – in fact, almost never.
In her book, Christine has a chapter entitled “The Connected Heart” in which she addresses friendships and she opens up about her own struggle with friendships. Yet she pointed out an incredible truth that I truly believe can again be applied to any wife of a minister:
“We have a part in implanting deep, Christlike friendships into the nature of the church and, in a sense, creating an environment for our own friendships to grow.”
Do you see that? We, as minister’s wives, can implant Christlike friendships! We have the ability to change the environment of the church to be one in which friendships are Christ centered, deep abiding, life-giving, and a breath of fresh air rather than one where women are secretly hurting, screaming inside for someone to just walk this path of life with them, walls are built up simply because we aren’t being open and living life together.
It's going to take work, it’s going to take risking being vulnerable and open, it’s going to take time but it CAN happen as Christine writes:
“If I cast aside my insecurities and refuse to give up, in due time, friendships will happen.”
There is SO much more to this incredible book, so much more that I want each and every one of you to hear and know in your heart’s. I have seen e-copies and paper copies so whichever you prefer – I would encourage you to get it, read it, and let the Lord speak to you through it. I have bought and been given various books for minister’s wives throughout the past 20 years and I can honestly say none of them has spoken to my heart more and in such a real way than “The Church Planting Wife”.
Today spend some time with the Lord asking, as I had to, what the condition of your heart is. Start there and you will be amazed at what He will do when we only allow Him to! Love you sweet sisters in ministry!
Ronnie and her husband Joel have been in full-time youth and children's ministry for the past 20 years. They have four children Hannah, Malachi, Kestra, and Tyler. Along with a heart to serve alongside her husband in ministry, Ronnie has a specific heart for Moms of Preschool age children. Joel & Ronnie are currently in Colorado planting a new church. Whenever possible, Ronnie enjoys going on both domestic and foreign mission trips and serving children and families elsewhere. She uses her Thirty One Gifts business as an avenue to contribute to mission efforts around the world and is excited to see God use this to further the Kingdom.
